BPD Diaries: The Support Is Real...ly Appreciated

You guys have no idea how much a 30-minute check-up call helps.

Let's talk about ants for a second. In fact, let's talk about leaf-cutter ants. They are some of the tiniest insects out there, and they know it—that's why they work together. They support one another to make the big things happen. Let me give you an example. In the tropics, these ants will deconstruct plants and feed said plant to a fungus. In return the fungus grows and the ants can colonize within it. Some plants, however, don't take kindly to being ripped to shreds. They begin to emit a toxin within their leaves that can cause harm to the fungus. The ants pick up on this. They can sense the fungus getting weaker and they communicate this to one another. They then begin picking off a different plant thus creating the strongest colony possible.

It's incredible what can we done with the support of one another.

Also if you think I'm full of shit, I don't blame you. See for yourself though. https://www.pbs.org/video/how-leaf-cutter-ants-feed-killer-fungus-xamcth/

Up and onward then!

Today was a good day. Nah fuck that, it was a great day. Got a facetime call from a good friend this morning, therapy after that, bible study/walking for an hour, got my magnificent kiddo, worked on things for VSM (my business HORAAAYY), and I ate like shit all day. Oh I also got a phone call from one of my best friends and my mama. More on that later. I was happy though. I did get super down at one point and asked Violet for cuddles and she came over and asked what was wrong and I told her. I said "Baby, dad gets sad sometimes because he's a little fucked in the head." She said "oh.." and you can tell she really didn't know how to respond.

Then she farted. We both just about died of laughter and I will hold on to that memory for as long as I live. Incredible. It brought me back though. My kids shitty little fart pulled me out of a depressive funk. Whatalife.

Therapy was good, I enjoy my therpist. She finds the light in situations, is real, and compliments me. I know it's part of the shtick but I'll take it. Kind of like when a stripper tells you your handsome, "You ain't gotta lie to me darlin' but damn does it sound good hearing it!"

Full disclosure my therapist is not a stripper and all jokes aside, she really made a point to tell me she was proud of what I'm doing and honestly, it felt damn good hearing it.

Now give me your lovins. All of them.

So, I mentioned earlier I had three phone calls today. Two incredible friends of mine and I'm super blessed to have them. Then my mom who has been a godsend my whole life. They all know whats going on and just wanted to chat and catch up on things and to check up on me. That shit means the world. Yeah I'm making light of a shitty sandwich here, but ultimately I'm still going to have to eat it. It's alot more manageable when you guys bring me love condiments that help me devour it. Everyone has such busy lifes, taking time to make a phone call JUST to check up on someone is such an act of kindness and love that could easily be taken advantage of. Thank you all who have helped me through this so far. Thank you. I love you. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Alright, let's wrap this shit up cause I'm tired and the mornings coming quick. My therapist made a good point to make a coming to light or takeaway each post for readers that might be going through the same thing I am. That's a fantastic point. honestly this is a great take away anyone, not just people with BPS.

Never take anything your support system does for you for granted. Even if they do call for just 2 minutes, that's two minutes out of the day they didn't have to dedicate to you but they chose to. That's incredible. My biggest mistake was taking things for granted in my relationships. Just because someone's dating you doesn't mean they have to treat you like royalty. They have shit going on in their life's too, and if they set that aside to make you feel special every day, you've hit the lottery. Enjoy it, that shit's not easy to come by.

It's also important to recipreicate the love you receive as well.

Good in, Good out, & Goodnight!